What is the culpability of the brainwashed?

I’m a believer in freewill, the notion that I am in control of my choices, and I can choose what to do at any given moment. I also know that it is unreasonable to think that’s actually the case. I’ve done stupid things under times of incredible confusion and high-stress, like the time I put myself in danger to hand-deliver three goldfish to stranger in a bad part of Washington, DC. Yes, I did that, and I look back and think, “How could I have ever done that?” It was because the events of that day led me to it…in effect, I felt like I had no other option.

This story from my past recently came back in mind because I watched the shows/movies/documentaries on Netflix called The Tinder Swindler and Bad Vegan. Spoiler alert: In both shows, con artists convince women to hand over large sums of money to them that they then go and spend lavishly. The women are left broke, hurt and confused while the con artists move on with very little punishment.

As I analyzed the stories, I found a trend, which went something like this:

1) Create connection - both men used social media to generate bonds with their victims and eventually enter into their lives in a physical way.

2) Establish mystery - the Tinder Swindler said he was an heir to a diamond tycoon and had many enemies who were out for him, so he needed immense secrecy because of it. The Bad Vegan guy said he was a former Navy SEAL who still worked in "black ops" and had to travel often to secret places and would therefore be out of contact. The Bad Vegan conman also used an “IT expert” whom he said needed all of the woman’s logins and passwords to protect and encrypt their communications.

3) Isolate - Both men routinely pulled their victims away from families, friends and jobs, and that isolation drew the women closer to the con men. They told their victims that they couldn't tell anyone anything about what was going on and demanded secrecy.

4) Create confusion - The con men continually confused their victims, which enabled the victims to more easily make poor decisions. As I learned from reading a book on cults, these states of confusion are when people are at their weakest and are more apt to do and say things they don’t want to/don’t mean.

5) Gaslight - Whenever the victims would question what was going on, the con men made them question their own realities, which would put the victims back in a state of confusion.

This process would continue until there was no more money and the con men would move on to other victims.

According to the documentaries, the Tinder Swindler is still running across Europe doing the same thing he had been doing. Apparently, conning these women into giving him money wasn’t a crime. He didn’t force them to do it; they gave it willingly. The Bad Vegan conman served a year in prison awaiting trial, and by the time he had his trial, he was released for time already served. The women in both of these documentaries eventually got out of the situations and recognized they had been manipulated. They also happened to be monetarily broke and psychological broken.

While the women in the Tinder Swindler weren’t accused of any crimes, Sarma Melngailis, the women featured in Bad Vegan, was accused of larceny and fraud. After all, she had asked restaurant investors for money and didn’t use it for her restaurant. That’s why she ended up serving three and a half months in prison and is now a convicted felon.

And that brings me to the point of this post: what is the culpability of the brainwashed? Melngailis was a UPenn-educated successful business owner. But because of a connection to a con man, who lied about his background, what he did, where he was, who he was, she was manipulated into doing things she didn’t want to do, some of those things ended up being illegal.

Is she culpable for her crimes? What’s the difference between being brainwashed by another in this sense and pleaded “guilty by reason of insanity” when on trial in court? I don’t know what the answer is, but these documentaries, and my own personal experience, make me ask the question.